A note on language and diet culture

This is a follow-up to my post about Crystal Galindo and fat-posi/body posi art.

I just finished having a… conversation, or something seeking to mimic it, with a so-called holistic health strategist, Tonye Tariah.

Out of curiosity, I asked on her About page if her blog is a weight loss blog after she posted a link to it in a comment on my Galindo post, in which **Tonye Tariah said I should have a look at her blog and tell her what I think**.  I can’t stress that part enough. I read through some of her posts and found her language and attitude to be ambiguous at best. So I removed her comment because I couldn’t speak as to what her intentions are by replying to a fat posi post with a link to a health and fitness blog. And I didn’t want her promoting herself on my blog, if it was the case that her blog is a weight loss blog. I also recommended that she be careful about posting links to her blog on fat posi posts where they might not be welcomed for having words like “fitness and health” in the title. Fat women, especially ones who are body positive bloggers, know that people who use these words don’t always have the best intentions or, more important than intentions, the most innocent meaning in their word usage. Some people who have experienced abuse and fat-shaming know that the language around weight loss can be triggering. So I sought to investigate.

Tonye Tariah claims that her blog is not a weight loss blog but also said–

…it’s sad that you confused the notion of fitness, with advocating weight-loss

–Tonye Tariah

Again, I only asked if her blog is a weight loss blog and explained why I removed her comment from my blog. Why Tonye Tariah would respond by calling me “sad” and “confused” is a mystery. What did I say that caused her to treat me with anything less than dignity and respect? And this:

Its […] clear to me that you’re projecting some unresolved issues in the wrong direction (i.e. myself and any other individuals you’ve chosen to villify). Again, good luck to you and may you find the peace you both seek and need! [three smilies]

–Tonye Tariah

Instead of accepting my advice about how she posts comments and my opinion of her blog, she accused me of instigating conflict and essentially said I was attacking her for trying to do a nice thing. How my opinion of her blog and how I handled her comment on a post meant for body positive affirmation became all about her, I don’t know.
Tonye Tariah then deleted my question and responses and her more than condescending and dismissive replies I assume since they aren’t visible on her page. Hypocrites do have to cover their tracks after all. Unfortunately, Tonye Tariah is not the first person I’ve run into who thinks she’s enlightened and no one can tell her anything.

Just a heads-up to anybody else who is curious about this lady and her blog. Maybe you’ll find something helpful there but this was my experience with her and I think other Black women and fat women of Color should know. Her responses to me and her attitude certainly weren’t healthy.